Upturning Old Pains
by Sasha.Rizzoli
Summary: The long awaited continuation of Christmas Shock and Awe. Elliot gets a letter from the adoptive parents of the boys he unwillingly fathered while he was held. Will it create even more tension in his marriage? Or will other problems do that for him?
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: This is the long awaited continuation of Christmas Shock and Awe. I hope you enjoy. I will only post the next chapter if I get at least 10 reviews. I don't mean to sound mean but I get lots of people who put stories on alert or favourite but don't review and it annoys me, even though I am thankful. Please review, it only takes a minute.**

**Disclaimer: Don't own anything you recognize.**

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**18th March 2011 5:51am**

**Stabler Residence**

Elliot woke to the faint, painful moaning of his very pregnant wife. Their son was due any day now and Olivia was very uncomfortable. She couldn't get comfortable no matter what she tried.

His half asleep eyes drifted open to see his lover leaning against the dresser, rocking and rubbing her lower back as she moaned.

He practically jumped out of bed. "Liv?"

Elliot approached her and rubbed her back for her. "Babe, you ok? Are you in labor?" He asked, panicking.

No matter how many times he went through this, he was always panicky.

Olivia exhaled a deep breath and stood up properly again. "I'm fine, El. I just had one contraction. I think my body's just getting ready. Stop panicking, hon," she tired to reassure herself as much as her protective husband, looking at him in the reflection of the mirror.

She wasn't sure if she was ready to handle the pain again yet.

Elliot kissed her cheek and rubbed her large belly. "Are you sure, babe?" He wanted to make sure.

The heavily pregnant brunette turned around and tried to get as close to her husband as her big baby bump would allow her.

She wasn't as big as when she was carrying Aurora but she was still pretty big. Liam had dropped and she knew that he'd be arriving in a matter of days. She could sense it. Feel it.

"Honey, I'm ok, just tired and sore," Olivia assured him.

"Want me to stay home today?" He asked, softly, rubbing her belly which sheltered their son.

Olivia gave him a tender kiss on the lips and shook her head. "No, I'll be fine, El. Get ready for work."

Elliot nodded and guided her back in to bed, so she could get some more much needed rest.

Once she was back in bed and under the covers, Elliot went in to the bathroom.

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The mother woke about an hour later to the feel of someone jumping up on to the bed. Seventeen month old Aurora. She was awake, feeling recharged and raring to go.

"Mama!" She called out and sat down on the bed beside her tired, heavily pregnant mother. "Bweakfast, mama!"

Olivia moaned and slowly sat up. "Ok, baby. Mama's getting up. Mama needs to use the bathroom first, so meet mama in your bedroom and then we'll got downstairs together, ok?"

Aurora jumped off the bed with a rushed, "ok, mama," before running out.

Olivia groaned as she pushed herself off the bed with difficulty before waddling in to the en-suite bathroom.

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Lunch time came and found Olivia and Aurora bored. Mainly Olivia but Aurora had just woke up from her nap and was begging to go out.

"Wanna grab some lunch and go see daddy, baby?" She'd asked and of course Aurora had screamed out a happy 'yes'.

So here Olivia and Aurora were in the elevator in the 16th precinct heading up to the Special Victims squad room to see the husband and father.

The elevator dinged and the door opened, so the mother and daughter stepped out, only for the very pregnant mother to have a sudden, desperate urge to use the bathroom.

"Baby, mama needs to use the bathroom," she said and walked toward the restroom, not letting go of the young girl's hand.

"Mama!" The child whined, wanting to see her father.

"I'm sorry, honey, but mama needs to go really bad," she replied, opening the door to the women's restroom.

Just as she reached the closest stall of the empty bathroom, she felt a sudden release of pressure and a gush of warm, liquid run down her legs. Her water had broken. Her son was coming. Aurora's baby brother.

"Oh God, no. Not right now," she murmured, frantically.

Aurora looked up at her mommy, feeling something wet splash up at her. "Mama?" She asked with a slight tilt to her little head.

Before Olivia could respond a very strong, debilitating contraction shot through her, quickly followed by a second, just as strong.

Olivia groaned leaning against the sinks. The baby was coming fast. She could feel it. "Aurora, baby?"

Aurora was crying, seeing her mama in so much pain. "Mama?"

"Run in to the squad room and get dada, baby. Mama needs dada," she said and opened the door for her daughter.

Aurora had been here enough times since she was born for everyone to know her and her to know everyone in the squad and where to go.

Everyone knew she was a Benson-Stabler. The squad's tiny rookie. Their mascot.

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Elliot was sitting at his desk, talking to a fellow detective, thirty four year old mother of two, Kate Thomas, when he saw Aurora run in, crying, looking scared.

"Dada! Dada!" She cried out.

The father jumped out of his chair and ran to her, picking her up. "Aurora? Where's mama, baby?"

Aurora pointed toward the restrooms. "Bafwoom. Baby comin'."

"Bathroom?! Baby coming?! Oh God, she's in labor! Kate!"

He ran out with Kate following closely.

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Olivia was leaning against the sink, whimpering as yet another painful contraction was coursing through her already sore body. She was trying her hardest not to scream out as the pain increased, dramatically.

The door flung open and Elliot placed Aurora on the floor before running to his wife. "Olivia? We're gonna get you to the hospital, baby."

Olivia groaned. "Won't make it. Oh God!" She shrieked. "He's coming now, El!"

"Call for a bus, Kate!" Elliot said before turning back to Olivia. "Ok, baby. How you wanna do this? How you already are? Laying down? Squatting? Or on your hands and knees?"

The brunette moaned, preparing herself for the next wave of pain. "I might try on my hands and knees."

"Ok, Liv," Elliot replied and helped Olivia out of her maternity pants and panties before helping her on to her hands and knees.

The next contraction came quickly and Olivia rocked back and forth on her hands and knees, moaning.

"There's a pile up, Elliot. The ambulance can't get here for a while."

"Oh shit! You've got to help me help Liv deliver Liam," he said, rubbing his wife's back, trying to offer some comfort.

Kate put a hand on Elliot's shoulder. "It will be ok," she assured him.

"Aurora," Olivia moaned out in pain, for her daughter.

Aurora sat down in front of her mother. "Mama, 'kay?"

Olivia reached out and caressed her daughter's cheek. "Mama will be soon, princess. Your baby brother will be here soon," she whispered and ran a gentle finger through Aurora's golden brown curly ringlets, which framed her chubby little face.

"Really?" She asked with an innocent grin.

Olivia nodded and bit her bottom lip as another painful contraction came, trying not to scream.

"Push, honey," she heard Kate say.

She and Kate had become good friends over the last two years. Kate had originally been there to replace Olivia while she was on maternity leave when she was pregnant with Aurora but was asked to stay.

Olivia pushed and took another deep breath, refusing to take her eyes off her baby girl sitting in front of her. "Baby, sing mama a song, ok?" She panted.

Aurora nodded and started to sing a song, which she loved to hear being sang by mother.

She was totally off key and barely knew the words but it was helping Olivia as she pushed out her son.

"Oh God! I can't push again," she panted.

Elliot kissed her sweaty cheek and rubbed her back. "Yes, you can, baby. You are doing so well."

Olivia nodded and pushed again.

Finally in amongst the moans, pushes, Aurora singing and Elliot's encouragement, Olivia heard Kate say the two words she had been waiting to hear for the last half an hour.

"Head's out!...And it's big. That's why you had trouble, honey."

Olivia nodded and reached down to feel her son's head. It gave her a second wind. A new found strength. More energy in her exhausted, painful state. "Oh my goodness," she whispered with a smile.

About two minutes later she heard her son's first cry and Elliot announced time of birth.  
"1:06pm," he reported with fatherly pride.

Olivia sat down, uncomfortably and gently took her son. "Hello, Liam, you were in such a big rush, handsome. Welcome to the world...Aurora, say hi to your brother, honey," Olivia said, tired and breathlessly.

Instead of approaching, Aurora backed away and started to cry.

"Aurora? El, grab her before she runs off."

Elliot picked her up and she cried more. "What's wrong, honey?"

"No love me," she replied, pointing to herself.

"Yes, we do, baby. Dada promises. Come say hi to your baby brother," he said and sat beside Olivia with Aurora in his lap.

Aurora was still hesitant, so Olivia encouraged the young child again.

"It's ok, sweetie. Say hi."

Aurora reached over and softly caressed his tiny warm cheek. "Hi bwova. I your big sister," she whispered and watched him reach up and open his tiny eyes, revealing the colour. Coffee brown. Completely opposite to hers. She had her daddy's eyes. Liam had their mommy's.

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Two days later, Olivia woke to baby Liam's hungry cry. She opened her eyes and saw that Elliot wasn't in bed. He must be up with Aurora.

She tiredly got up and picked up her son from his bassinet. "It's ok, honey," she whispered and moved her pyjama top.

Liam latched on, hungrily and Olivia covered herself and him with a loose blanket, over his back and her chest, since she could hear that they had visitors downstairs.

She walked down to see her best friend, who she had not seen in nearly two years, since she had to move for another job.

Casey Novak was sitting on the couch beside a man, holding his hand and there was a little boy sitting on the floor. He looked about Aurora's age.

Aurora was happily sitting there playing with him. She remembered that Casey was pregnant when she left.

"Oh my God! Casey!" She quietly called out as she walked in.

Casey got up and gave her a gentle hug. "Ooh, who's under there?"

"Liam Rylee Stabler. You can see if you don't mind the boob," she joked with a quiet laugh.

Casey smiled with a shrug, so Olivia moved the blanket a bit, just enough for her to see.

The former ADA moved around to Olivia's side, so she could see the newborn's face.

"Aww, he's so precious. Sorry I was wasn't there when Aurora was born and this precious one."

Olivia covered Liam up again and gave Casey a kiss on the cheek. "It's ok, Case. You have your own life to live. Who's the little guy playing with my princess?"

Casey smiled. "It's my and Will's son, Korey Oliver Kinney. Korey, come say hi to Aunt Olivia."

The little boy rolled the little pink ball back to Aurora before getting up and approaching hesitantly.

He lifted up an open hand for Olivia to shake. "Hello," he spoke, shyly.

"Hi honey," Olivia replied and shook his tiny hand softly before watching him walk back to Aurora.

The brunette turned back to the red head. "What a little cutie."

Casey smiled, proudly. "Will taught him that. You met him before I left, didn't you?"

Olivia nodded. "A couple times," she replied and turned to him.

"Hi...Excuse me a minute. Liam has finished and I need a shower," she said and disappeared back upstairs.

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When they heard the master bedroom door close, Elliot looked at Casey and William. "Sorry about that she left like that. She's exhausted and it doesn't help that Aurora has been ignoring her since Liam was born."

"Is she really?" Casey asked, furrowing her brow. "Does she resent Liam?"

Elliot sighed. "I'm not sure if she resents him but she liked being the only child, although... she was happy that she was going to be a big sister when Olivia was pregnant."

"Do you wanna spend some time with Liv? We can take Aurora...We would take Liam too but Liv is nursing him and he's only a newborn, so..."

Elliot gave Casey a friendly kiss on the cheek. "Thank you so much," he said and got up.

"You're welcome."

Elliot gave his daughter a kiss on the head. "You're going with Aunt Casey and Uncle William. Be a good girl."

"Ok, dada."

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Elliot walked in to the bedroom to find Liam sound asleep in the white bassinet, so he went in to the bathroom.

His wife was laying in a nice, warm, relaxing bath.

"Hey, baby. Casey and Will are taking Aurora for a few hours."

"Mm-hmm," Olivia replied, exhaustedly. "Wanna join me?"

Elliot started to undress. "Sure, baby. Move up," he replied before getting in behind her.

Olivia relaxed in to him and sighed softly. "Sorry, I'm a mess."

"Liv, it's totally understandable. You're exhausted and Aurora's ignoring you. Plus you just had a baby, your hormones are still out of balance."

Olivia started to cry. "Why? Why is she ignoring me? I promised her that I still love her."

Elliot rubbed her post baby belly and gave her a kiss on the head. "She'll come round, baby. Trust me. Just give her time," he assured her.

A silence filled the room and Elliot looked down to see that his exhausted wife had fallen asleep. He rubbed her arm soothingly.

"Olivia, wake up. Let's get you in to bed."

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Elliot gently placed his now dry and dressed, tired wife on the large comfortable bed and went to let go, he had housework to do since Olivia was too exhausted.

"Don't go," she mumbled, half asleep.

Elliot planted a tender kiss on his wife's lips. "I've got house work to do, baby, but you can call me if you need me, ok? Get some sleep while Liam is sleeping, babe."

"Love you," the brunette murmured before letting sleep take over.

"Love you too," he replied in a whisper before tip-toeing out of the master bedroom, half closing the door behind him.

The detective went downstairs and headed out the front, to check the letter box. He opened it and grabbed out the day's mail. He scanned through them as he walked back up the path and back in to the house. Bill, bill, bill, junk mail...until something caught his eye. Elliot closed the front door and sat down on the couch in the living room. He put all the mail on the coffee table except that specific one.

In handwritten writing on the front of the envelope, it read Mr. Elliot Stabler, followed by their address below. He didn't recognize the writing though. He was hesitant before turning it around and opened it.

Stabler pulled out a piece of paper, opened it and read it.

In neat cursive writing, it read:

'Dear Mr. Stabler,

I know the circumstances in which Jeremiah and Zander came in to this world but we love them anyway. I'm sorry for disturbing your life and that of your wife's and children's, but my husband and I would like to meet you.

We have changed the boys' names to give them a fresh start in life.

Jeremiah- Chase and Zander- Logan.

Unfortunately Logan was born with a medical condition, which wasn't diagnosed until recently and we need to know where it came from.

For more information please come see my husband and myself.

Yours truly,

Patricia Hart.'

Beneath her neat signature was a Brooklyn address and a phone number.

He didn't realize how long he'd been sitting there for until he felt the seat on the couch beside him dip, followed by his loving wife's soft voice and son's soft crying.

"El? What's wrong, hon?" She asked, concerned.

Elliot turned to see his wife holding a fussy Liam. He put down the letter and held out his arms for his son.

"What was in that letter, Elliot?" Olivia asked, passing their son over to his father.

Elliot sighed as he took Liam. "It's...ah...It's a letter from Jeremiah's and Zander's adoptive parents. You can read it, if you want to, baby."

Olivia reached over and delicately picked up the folded up white piece of paper. It wasn't on anything fancy, it looked as though it had been just tared off a pad of writing paper.

Elliot watched as his wife read the letter before she sighed and running a hand through her thick, long, dark brown hair and then down her tired face.

He furrowed his brow. "What, Olivia?"


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: I wasn't going to update this until I got 10 but I got 8...so ah, here it is....I will not update again till I get 10 though. So please read and review. I still have a cold and feel like crap so reviews will help me feel better.**

**Disclaimer: Own nothing that you recognize.**

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"What are you going to do, Elliot?" Olivia asked her husband, carefully. Unsure.

"What's that supposed to mean?!" Elliot barked, angrily before he could control his tongue.

Liam was picking up on his father's tension. He started to show his disapproval by screaming. Loudly. Face bright red and angry tiny fists clenched up tightly, waving around as he kicked his legs.

"Here, take him," Elliot said gruffly, holding out the baby.

Olivia sighed in frustration and gently took their newborn son in to her arms. She stood up and looked at her husband with the most evil glare, that he had ever seen her give him. Give anybody.

"I just asked a simple question, Elliot. I only gave birth about forty-eight hours ago and I'm exhausted and sore....I don't need this hostility," she snapped.

Their time alone was definitely not panning out. It has started out nice but now it was the complete opposite.

"Liv..." Elliot made an attempt to apologize to his exhausted, frustrated wife.

Olivia just ignored her husband. She didn't want to hear it. "Come on, baby," she murmured, rubbing the newborn boy's back softly, walking back upstairs in to the master bedroom to be alone. She needed time apart from Elliot.

Elliot sighed, slumping down on to the couch. He ran a beyong frustrated hand over his tired, aging face and exhaled a shaky, deep breath.

He was going to give his wife a couple minutes to settle herself and Liam down before he went up there to apologize for his rotten behaviour toward her.

He needed a break. Just himself and Olivia. They had not had a night to themselves the whole time that he'd been back home from his ordeal, so in other words not since early new years morning 2009. He loved Aurora and Liam with everything in him, but he needed time alone with his wife, but he knew it wouldn't be for at least a few more weeks, since Liam was only two days old, but they could arrange it and mark it on the calendar, hanging on the fridge.

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Some ten minutes went by somewhat slowly and Elliot gently tapped on the door.

"Go away, Elliot," a soft voice answered.

Elliot could hear the tears in her voice. He had made his beautiful wife cry. She'd done what she always did. Be strong in front of him, only to let herself break down in the seclusion and privacy of their bedroom, alone. The time when she needed him the most, but would always deny it. Deny herself the need to be held. To be hugged and loved.

Detective Elliot Stabler slowly reached out, put his hand on the balled door handle and turned it, surprised that his wife had not locked his sorry ass out.

He opened it slowly, cautiously. He found his lover laying on their bed. Curled up tightly on her side, a pillow in between her legs, since she was still sore. He could hear her crying softly and it broke his heart, especially since he was the one who caused her the pain.

Olivia saw her husband walk in to the bedroom slowly. She turned over, so her back was to him, so desperately trying to ignore the strong urge to look at him and beg him to hold her tightly and never to let her go.

Elliot tip-toed over to the bassinet and looked in. His youngest son was sleeping comfortably, with the mobile above it, still turning and playing it's soft, soothing tune.

He walked over to the bed and laid down behind his still crying wife, who was still trying to hide her tears from the man she married nearly twenty seven months ago. Two years of marriage and two children later, their marriage was still like a roller coaster ride. A lot of tears had been shed, a lot of sleepless nights and a lot of arguments but the love and passion was still definitely there.

He wrapped an arm around her middle, resting his hand on her belly and the other arm was being used to hold his head up, using his elbow. His hand was resting on his hand behind Olivia's head and higher up so he could see her. He kissed her cheek and whispered, "baby, I'm so sorry I snapped. I just need a break. We both do."

Olivia's head instantly snapped around with the top half of her body to look at him. Shock etched in her face. "You resent our children?" She hissed, "...hang on, do you mean a break from each other?"

Elliot gently turned his wife on to her back, so he could see her properly to look in to her eyes.

He fixed the pillow between her legs before he carefully wiped away her wet tears and kissed the tip of her nose.

"No and no. I don't resent our children, Liv, I love them so much with everything I have in me and no, I don't mean a break from each other."

"What did you mean then?" Olivia asked, searching his eyes.

"I mean a break together, just you and me. We haven't had much time alone since the night I was taken, baby. I'm surprised Liam was conceived without us waking Aurora up that night. You were so loud, Livvie," he answered, finishing with a quiet laugh.

Olivia laughed too, just as quietly, as to not wake Liam. "Yeah, but you were incredible that night...I agree about the night together but..."

Elliot silenced his wife by putting a finger to her lips. "I know it won't be for at least a couple weeks, with Liam being only two days old, but soon, Olivia. Let's make a date and I'll write it on the calandar."

"I thought you were going to see the boys?"

"I'll work that around our romantic date," he promised and gave her a quick, tender kiss on the lips. "So when do you want to set it, honey?"

"How about..." Olivia thought for a moment. They had already pasted Valentine's day, so that out of the question. Since she had been eight months pregnant at the time, they hadn't done much, especially with Aurora having a cold and Elliot rushing around after her since Olivia couldn't be around her for long periods of time, at the high risk of her catching it while heavily pregnant.

"How about May the first," she replied, just picking a random date.

She didn't care about the date, just as long as she was alone with her husband. "I should be cleared to have sex then, baby," she replied.

Elliot nodded with a grin. "I'll go write it on the calandar, I'll be right back." He kissed her on the lips and got off the bed to walk out.

Olivia watched her husband walk out of their bedroom. Just staring at his ass.

_'If I hadn't just pushed an eight pound baby out of me two days ago, I' d so take you right now,'_ Olivia thought to herself.

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That night found Olivia trying to calm down a cranky Liam. She was pacing around the nursery gently bouncing him, but it just was not working. He'd been crying since just after two in the morning and it was now nearly four thirty. She had fed him, changed his diaper, sang to him, given him a relaxing bath and rocked him in the rocking chair. So now she'd taken to pacing and gently bouncing. Tears of fatigue and frustration were welling up in her drained caramel brown eyes.

"Come on, Liam. Baby, please tell me what's wrong? Mommy is so tried and I bet you are too," she murmured, rubbing his tiny, shaking back.

She turned, startled, feeling a presence behind her. It was Elliot with a sleepy Aurora perched on his hip. Her head on his shoulder, sucking her thumb.

"Sorry," she almost yelled her apology, so she could be heard, seeing that Liam's screaming was keeping them awake as well.

"Liv, take Aurora and you can both try to get some sleep in our bed. I'll try settle Liam down. You've been in here for about two and a half hours, three if you include the time you were nursing him."

Olivia was actually tempted. She wanted to spend some time with her daughter. She went to walk over but stopped, seeing that Aurora had turned her head away from her. Rejecting her own mother again. It stung. Broke her heart.

Elliot frowned as his wife backed away and went back to soothing her son.

"Liv?"

"On second t-thought, I c-can handle this. Go back to bed with Aurora. Close the door behind you," she answered and began to pace again with the still screaming newborn.

Elliot sighed and looked down at Aurora facing the other way and knew why his wife had acted the way she had. Their daughter has rejected her own mother yet again.

He closed the door and headed downstairs, to where it was a little quieter. He sat down on the couch with the toddler on his lap.

"Aurora. Aurora Dream Stabler, look at me. Look up at daddy," he softly instructed the young child.

The youngster looked up at her father. With the look of childhood innocence. "Yes, daddy?"

"What did Aunt Casey talk to you about yesterday afternoon, when you were over her house?"

The toddler pretended to think. "Hmm," she tought with a slight tilt of her head and scratched the side.

Casey had told him about the conversation that she'd had with Aurora and he had thanked her, hoping it would work, but so far no change. She was a very smart child, but liked to hide it.

"She told you that you're hurting mama's feelings by not talking to her, Aurora. Liam is not here to replace you. He's just your baby brother. Mama does not love you any less. You're still mama's little princess, you hear me?"

Tears began to well up in the toddler's tiny ocean blue eyes.

"You don't mean to hurt mama's feelings, do you?"

Aurora shook her little head. "Sowry. So sowry," she whispered.

"You need to say sorry to mama, honey. You want to now and try get some sleep with mama?"

Aurora pawed at her tears and nodded.

She was just like her mother, trying to be strong and independent twenty four seven.

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Olivia was still gently bouncing Liam and holding back hurt tears as she continued to pace. The door to the nursery opened and Olivia refused to look.

The next second she felt tiny hands wrap around her leg, just below her knee. She looked down to see the most gorgeous chocolate brown eyes looking up at her. Her baby girl was smiling up at her, tiredly, with messy bed hair.

"Hey baby."

Aurora smiled bigger, showing some teeth. "Mama," she whispered, reaching up to her.

Olivia didn't hear her over her son's screaming but she knew what Aurora had said.

She turned around to see Elliot waiting for her to hand over their son. "Thanks, El," she said and kissed him on the lips.

"For what?" He joked, "you're welcome, baby," he said, taking the boy.

Olivia leaned down and picked Aurora up. "Let's try to get some sleep, sweetpea," she said, carrying out of the nursery.

Aurora spoke just as her mother closed the nursery door. "Sowry, mama," she said softly and gave Olivia a sloppy kiss on the cheek.

Olivia hugged her little girl closer and kissed the crown of her head. "I love you so much, baby girl," she replied as she carried the toddler in to the master bedroom. "Don't ever forget that, princess. Mommy loves you so so much."


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N; Sorry it took so long, I am still trying to work out some personal issues, so haven't had much inspiration to write. 10 reviews would be nice, if you want to see the next chapter. There are more twists and turns coming.**

**Disclaimer: Don't own anything you recognize.**

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Olivia woke about four hours later to find herself alone in an empty bed. Opening her eyes, she saw that Elliot and Aurora weren't there but she could hear Liam in the bassinet, beginning to fuss.

Sitting up, she could feel that her top was wet. She was leaking.

"Shit," she murmured and reached in to the bassinet. "Come here, little man. Daddy must've given you one of the bottles in the fridge, huh?" she whispered, moving her top, giving her son access.

Latching on immediately, Liam hummed against his mother and reached up with a tiny, open hand.

Leaning down to kiss the newborn's hand, Olivia smiled. Liam seemed content with the world right now, completely opposite to four hours ago.

She just wondered how long it had taken Elliot to calm him down. On second thought where were he and Aurora.

"Let's go see where your daddy and big sister are, huh, buddy?" she said, heading downstairs, slowly, as to not disturb Liam, who was still eating.

"El? Aurora?" Olivia called out, softly.

Looking in every area of the downstairs of the house and backyard. She couldn't find her husband or daughter, anyway.

_Where could they have gone?_

Going back upstairs, she called out again. Receiving no reply, she looked in to Aurora's pink painted bedroom and the study before Liam alerted his disapproval at his mother moving around so much, while he was trying to eat.

"Sorry, little man," she whispered, heading in to the nursery, trying to put her worry aside.

Elliot usually left a note on the bedside table or the fridge when he went out while she slept but she couldn't find one in either place.

She sighed as she sat down on the rocking chair and began to rock back and forth softly, effectively settling Liam down again to point where he hummed against her again, reaching up.

Feeling something wet on her cheek, Olivia brushed it away, realizing it was a tear. "Where's your daddy and big sister, huh? Did daddy tell you where they were going?" she asked after awhile of silence before sniffing.

Liam needed a fresh, clean diaper and he released his mother's nipple, crying, to let her know.

Getting up, covering herself up, she whispered, "I think it's bathtime, little man."

Checking the temperture of the water in the sink, with her elbow, Olivia was stopped by the house phone ringing loudly.

"Crap," she muttered.

Covering Liam with a blanket to keep him warm, she headed in to the master bedroom to grab the cordless handset.

"Stabler residence."

"Hello Olivia," her captain's voice came through the phone.

"Hi, Captain, what can I do for you? I'm still on maternity leave," she reminded him.

"I was actually wondering if Elliot was there. He said he was on the way with Aurora, over an hour ago and he's not answering his cell."

Olivia gasped and started to hyperventalate in shock, causing Liam to scream in her arms. "N...No..Not..Not here."

"Olivia? Olivia, can you do something for me?" Don asked, softly.

"W...what?"

"Place Liam in his bassinet," he said and waited till she said she'd done that before continuing, "Now can you sit down?..."

Olivia sat down on the edge of her bed and waited for further instruction.

"Try to control your breathing. Lean forward, ok? Concentrate on something and slow down your breathing," he instructed.

When it only seemed like it was worsening, Don tried a different approach. "Something happy, Olivia, and breathe with me, ok?"

"O...k."

"Ok, Olivia. Breathe in...1....2....3...Breathe out...1...2...3..."

It seemed to work and Olivia's breathing regulated after a while. Even Liam had settled down.

Standing up, Olivia spoke again. "If they turn up could you please call me straight away?"

"Of course, Liv. Take care."

-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-

Three hours went by and it found Olivia extremely worried about her husband and daughter.

This hour found Olivia pacing the living room, back and forth, and Liam sound asleep in his bassinet beside the couch.

Hearing a car pull up in the driveway, Olivia rushed to the window to look out, gasping in relief and shock, she saw Elliot's car came to a stop, just a foot from the garage door.

Seeing Elliot get out and move to the back passenger door to get Aurora out, Olivia rushed to pick Liam up and headed to the front door before opening it, to stand on the front porch.

Elliot headed up the path to the front door with Aurora perched on his hip. Looking up, he noticed his wife standing there, holding their son, with angry tears streaming down from her eyes.

"Where were you?" She asked in a shaky breath, trying not to swear in front of their little ones.

Elliot cupped his wife's cheek and kissed her lightly on the lips, the whole time looking in to her eyes. "I'm so sorry we scared you, baby. The car battery died and after I called for a jump start, my phone battery died and we were waiting for a long time," he explained softly, caressing her cheek. "I'm sorry, Olivia..But Aurora and I fine, really, baby."

Inhaling a shaky breath, Olivia nodded and kissed Aurora's forehead. "Hi, baby."

"Hi, mama," Aurora said and was confused when her mommy started crying. "Mama, 'k?" she asked, reaching out to brush her mother's tears away.

"Let's take this inside, baby," Elliot said, guiding Olivia back inside.

Closing the door behind them, Elliot let Aurora down on the floor and gently took Liam from Olivia, who was picking up on his mother's emotions.

"Liv, take Aurora for a nap, ok? I will be in, in a minute," he said at the top of the stairs.

Nodding, Olivia took her daughter's hand. "Come on, baby. Nap time."

Heading in to the nursery, Elliot managed to calm Liam down quickly and placed him in his crib, which had only been used once before. Reaching down in to the crib, he stroked his son's head.

"Sweet dreams, little man."

Walking in to the master bedroom, Elliot found his daughter sound asleep and snuggled in to his wife, who was still awake and waiting for him to return.

Seeing him walk in, Olivia patted the spot on the bed in front of her and Aurora. "Come lay down with us."

Elliot turned on the baby monitor and laid down beside Olivia, wrapping his arms around her and rested his forehead against hers, the whole time being careful of the youngster between them. "I'm sorry, baby."

Olivia inhaled a shaky breath and nodded. "I know, El, I know. It's just..."

Kissing the tip of her nose, Elliot encouraged Olivia to continue. "Just what, baby?"

"I...I saw a car accident on the news, El...And...And it looked like your car. Same model and colour...I was...so scared."

Elliot wanted to pull Olivia closer, but couldn't with a sleeping Aurora in the middle. "Oh, baby.."

"And you didn't leave me a note... And Cragen called looking for you."

Elliot kissed her cheek. "I should go call him," he said and went to get up.

Stopping him, Olivia grabbed his hand. "Don't you dare leave me."

Sighing, Elliot caressed her cheek. "I won't leave you, baby, I promise, I just need to call the captain... Get some sleep, Liv, while the kids are napping. You're exhausted," he told her firmly but softly.

Her eyes drifting shut already, Olivia fell asleep quickly and Elliot got up, taking the baby monitor with him, so if Liam woke, Olivia could still get some much needed sleep.

Quickly checking on Liam on the way, Elliot went in to the study and used the desk phone in there to call Cragen.

"Captain Cragen, Special Victims Unit."

"Hi Captain. It's Elliot."

"Where the hell have you been, Stabler?"

Elliot took a deep breath and exhaled it slowly. "The car broke down about half way to the precinct."

Hearing that Elliot was holding something back, he prompted him to continue. "What else happened, son?"

"I...I..." He couldn't say it. He didn't know why he couldn't tell his Captain or his wife for that matter.

"What, Elliot? What happened? It better be good because I had the task of trying to calm down your hyperventalating wife a few hours ago, over the phone, and it was not an easy one."

Elliot rubbed his hand down his face and sighed. "I witnessed a murder, Cap. It was horrible. I was so glad that Aurora was too busy playing with a toy to see it," Elliot explained, shakily before hearing a gasp from behind him.

Spinning around, he saw his shocked wife.

She had heard everything that was just said.

"Captain, I got to go," he said and hung up. "Baby?"

"W...Why ---" Olivia started but was too shocked to continue.

Wrapping his arms around her, Elliot cupped the back of her head, gently guiding it to his shoulder. "I thought you were asleep," he whispered in to her ear.

"I woke up when you left. You know, I can't sleep without you beside me."

Elliot kissed the side of her head. "I had to call Cragen, Liv, I was going to come straight back to bed though."

Olivia nodded and waited a moment before speaking again. "What happened?"

"You asking about what I saw? Liv, you don't want that in your head. I'm thankful that Aurora didn't see it...The problem is that.... We might have to go in to Witness Protection."

Olivia shook her head in to Elliot's shoulder. "No. Please, no."

"I'm sorry...So I am going to have to see the boys tomorrow, just in case."

"What about us?...Are you going to be safe?"

Elliot kissed her head again and rubbed her back, soothingly. "I will have two agents with me and there will be four here with you and the kids," he assured her.

"Mama! Mama!" Aurora came running in to the study.

Olivia and Elliot broke apart and Elliot picked the youngster up.

"What's wrong, princess?" Olivia asked.

"Liam cwying," she alerted her parents, pointing toward the nursery.

Olivia looked the the baby monitor to see that the battery had died in it, while they had been talking. "I'll get him," she said and headed in to the nursery.

"What's wrong, little man? Mommy's here now, you're ok," Olivia cooed, rubbing his heaving, chubby, little belly, leaning down close to be in his line of vision.

Hearing his mother's soothing voice and seeing her face, he settled down just slightly.

"Come on, handsome," she whispered, picking him up, "you can't be hungry yet."

She didn't think he was but decided to try anyway because his bottom was dry and clean. Discovering that he was indeed hungry, she sat down in the rocking chair and nursed him.

"Mama, me help?" Aurora asked, casually walking in.

"Sorry, baby, you can't. Liam isn't drinking from a bottle. Maybe next time, princess...But you can help me change his diaper when he's finished."

"Ok, mama," she replied and climbed up on to her mother's lap, making Olivia move Liam just a bit to make room.

"Careful, Aurora, you don't want to hurt Liam," Olivia lightly warned the youngster.

"Sowry, mama," Aurora apologized.

"It's ok, baby, you've just got to be more careful," Olivia replied and heard a knock on the front door downstairs.

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Elliot opened the front door to see six agents standing there.

"I thought only four of you were coming tonight," he said, letting them in.

"We need to move you tonight, Elliot," Agent Smythe said, "so you need to do what you need to do tonight."

Elliot sighed with a nod. "Let me tell Olivia," he said and headed upstairs.

"There's my only favourite people in the whole world," Elliot said with a smile, seeing his wife nursing their newborn son, with their one and a half year old daughter sitting on her opposite knee.

Seeing something was wrong, Olivia instantly pounced. "El....What's going on?"

Elliot walked over to his family as Olivia lifted Liam up to her shoulder, covering herself up in the process. "Liv..."

Rubbing Liam's back, she furowed her brows. "What is it, El?"

"We are being put in to Witness Protection tonight, so I have to go see the boys tonight."

"El..."

Elliot kissed her forehead. "What is it, Liv?"

"I want to come with you."

"Ah, sure, baby, if you want to...I didn't think you would."

"I do," Olivia replied with certainity, seconds before Liam released a baby belch, causing Aurora to giggle at her little brother.

"Ok, come on, sweetheart, let's pack you a bag," Elliot said, picking Aurora up. She needed pull-ups, a spare pair of clothes and her toddler formula.

Only to make it outside the nursery and be told they all needed to pack all their clothes and personal items that they wanted to take because they weren't coming back to the house.

-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-

In a seven seater black FBI SUV, Olivia looked at the seats in front of her and Elliot, to see both children sound asleep and was startled feeling a hand on her thigh. She turned to Elliot and sighed, leaning in to him.

Rubbing his wife's arms, he whispered, "you ok, Olivia?"

Sighing, Olivia nodded. "Yeah...It's just I don't want to go in to Witness Protection."

"I know, baby, neither do I but to keep ourselves and the kids safe we have to."

"Did they give you the information?"

"Yeah," he replied and passed the folder to Olivia.

Opening it, she read through the information in her head. Reading through the names they would be going by in protection, she sighed, shaking her head.

Elliot would go by Seth Jonathan; her new name would be Reagan Nora, Aurora was Savannah Avery and Liam was Kayden August.

She had to admit she loved the kid's new names but she groaned seeing the last name. It would be Palmer. She loved being a Stabler. Heaven knows how long they would be under Witness Protection with these names.

"I don't like this, Elliot," she whispered, momentarily shutting her eyes. "Aurora is only eighteen months old, she's going to get so confused and Liam is only a few days old, El, and we've got to call him by a different name already."

Kissing his wife's cheek, Elliot completely agreed with her. "I don't like it either, baby, but we've got to keep Aurora and Liam safe."

Olivia sighed. "Yeah, I know. I just don't like the idea of leaving New York City. I want to raise the kids here."

"You still can, 'Livia."

Shaking her head, Olivia groaned. "You don't know that, Elliot. We could be stuck in Witness Protection for years.... And you need to tell me the rest of what happened, so I can understand why we are in protection in the first place."

Sighing, Elliot knew that his wife was absolutely right about how long they could be in protection, they didn't know. Right now, they unfortunately didn't know much of anything.


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: I am currently suffering from a little writer's block on my other stories right now and I noticed I haven't updated this one in a very long time, so I decided to give it another go and this is what came out. If people are still interested I will keep going, so please read and review for more.**

**Disclaimer: Don't own anyone or anything you recognize.**

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As the agents pulled up in front of a brownstone, Elliot gently squeezed Olivia's hand and sighed. He wasn't really ready for this. He didn't father those two boys willingly.

They got out quickly with the agents practially surrounding them.

Olivia unbuckled Aurora from her seat and lifted her out. "Go to dada, princess," she said and gave Aurora a kiss on the cheek, causing her to giggle happily as she was passed to Elliot.

"Hey Princess Aurora," Elliot said as he took Aurora and Olivia unbuckled a sleeping Liam from his seat.

"Come on, handsome," Olivia whispered, picking up her son. "Should I put Liam in his stroller, El?"

Shaking his head, Elliot replied, "Nah, we shouldn't be long, Liv."

"Well, let's get this done, huh?"

Elliot nodded and walked up to the front door witth the agents close behind them.

Lifting up his closed fist to knock, the door was opened and a short, blond haired, middle aged woman with a small blue eyed boy was perched on her hip.

"Detective Stabler?" she asked, looking at him and the crowd of people around him.

"Yes," he replied and shook the woman's outstretched hand. "Ignore these guys," he said, motioning to the agents.

The woman nodded, nervously. "I'm Patricia Hart and this here is Chase. Come on in."

Walking in, Elliot introduced his family. "This is my wife Olivia, our son, Liam, and daughter, Aurora."

"Nice to meet you. Aww he's so cute and chubby, How old?"

Olivia smiled with motherly pride. "He's three days old."

"He's so gorgeous. Let's head in to the living room," she said, trying to ignore the FBI agents but she was finding it hard. They were making her nervous.

In the living room, they saw a man and another little boy sitting on the couch, doing something educational, helping him with his numbers.

"Honey, this is Elliot and Olivia Stabler and their children, Aurora and Liam. Mr and Mrs Stabler, this is my husband, Rick."

"Hello. Welcome," he greeted Elliot and Olivia before moving the child over a bit to make room. "Take a seat."

"Why don't you take a seat, babe? You're exhausted," Elliot suggested softly and helped Olivia sit down with Liam still sleeping in her arms. "So, Mrs Hart, what is this medical condition that Jaiden has?"

"He has a seizure disorder. Has anyone in your family got Epilepsy? I know you're not interested in these sweet little boys but I need to know since we were kind enough to take them in," she spoke, slowly getting rude toward the end.

Elliot was not impressed with her attitude but he thought for a moment and then shook his head. "No, on-one in my family has epilepsy, Mrs Hart. It must've come from his mother's side. Now if you'll excuse us, my family and I need to leave," he replied, angrily and helped Olivia up. "Let's go, Liv."

Olivia nodded and Elliot adjusted Aurora on his hip as he turned to the agent in charge. "We're ready to go."  
Nodding, Agent Smythe said, "Alright, let's get out of here."

The family was escorted back out to the SUV and Liam and Aurora were buckled in their respective seats again.

-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-

After a few stops along the way to nurse Liam or to change him and Aurora, they finally made it to the secluded house on a big property in the middle of nowhere.

"Okay, we're here," Agent Smythe alerted them as he pulled over in front of the four bedroom, Cottage style home.

Olivia got Liam out of the car just he started to fuss and Elliot got Aurora out.

Seeing that his wife wasn't making any attempt to go inside, Elliot kissed her cheek and nuzzled noses with her. "What's wrong, beautiful? You and Liam going to head inside?"

Olivia shook her head as she swayed and rocked Liam a little in an attempt to calm him down. "Not yet. Liam and I need some fresh air. Where are we exactly? I know we're not in New York anymore."

"I'm not sure," replied Elliot, "but if I was to guess. I'd say maybe somewhere in Connecticut."

Continuing to sway, Olivia nodded. "Okay. Um, it's freezing out here, we should head inside."

Elliot took her head in his and they headed in to the warmth of the home. "Now that Liam is asleep, let's look around, huh?"

"Yeah," Olivia replied, unenthusiastically.

"Aurora, you want to look around, sweetie?" Elliot asked, looking down at the toddler, holding his hand, walking beside him.

Looking up at her dada with a grin, Aurora nodded. She was interested in this new place but the interest most probably wouldn't last very long.

Walking through the front door, they found the dining room, which led straight through to the kitchen to their left. Inside they saw a small square table with three chairs and a high chair set up for Aurora, next in the kitchen, they had everything that they needed. They walked back in to foyer through dining room. On the other side was the living room, which had a four seater dark purple couch, a big screen HD television, a bassinet for Liam beside the couch and a bookcase in one corner. It was basic but it would do.

Next, they headed up the stairs. The bedroom to the left was the master bedroom, it had an ensuite bathroom with a spa bath, which Olivia claimed straight away. The bedroom contained a large, generous king size bed with a nightstand and lamp on each side, a chest of drawers on the opposite side of the room and another bassinet by the bed.

The next bedroom was painted shades of baby pink and yellow. A room for Aurora. A white, wooden toddler bed was set along the wall on the left hand side, a toy box was at the end of the bed, a couple of educational type toys on the floor beside it, a chest of drawers on the other side of the room and a nightlight was in the powerpoint, ready to use.

"Wow, they've been pretty generous," Olivia observed as they walked along the hallway.

Elliot kissed the crown of her head. "Yeah," he agreed, "they sure have."

Next was the bathroom and opposite was the nursery.

It was painted in shades of baby blue and a soft green and had a train border running through the middle, seperating the blue on the lower half from the green on the upper half.

A white sleigh crib was along the same wall as the door with a mobile above it, a white rocking chair sat opposite, a chest of drawes and a change table were on the other side of the room and lots of teddy bears and soft toys filled up shelves. There was even a breast pump kit on the top of the chest of drawers.

"Wow," Olivia breathed. She was impressed.

"It's really nice, isn't it?" Elliot smiled, caressing the back of her hand with his thumb.

"Yeah," Olivia nodded.

"This room and the other child's room was done by two women agents," Agent Smythe explained from behind them. "The rooms were already painted by a family, who lived here before."

"They're very nice. Thank you. Do you leave us now?"

"No, not quite. Two agents will continuously be monitoring the property at all times for a few days but after that, you can call if you need us, we'll only be in the nearest town."

Elliot nodded and shook the man's hand. "Thank you."

Nodding, Agent Smythe shook Elliot's hand before leaving the family to themselves.

"Dada, play?" Aurora asked, pointing toward the bedroom set up for her.

"Yeah, of course, baby girl," Elliot said and walked her out, making sure the baby gate at the top of the staircase was shut on the way past, for his daughter's safety.

As she sat down in the rocking chair, Olivia looked down at Liam. He was wide awake and looking up as he grunted and kicked his chubby little legs, so she leaned down in to his line of vision.

"Hi handsome. Are you hungry?" she asked as she moved her shirt to expose herself in the privacy of the room, so she could nurse him, rocking back and forth in the chair.

-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-

Olivia woke again about forty minutes after putting Liam back down again, after nursing him. Opening her eyes, she became aware of three things. It was 4:52AM, Elliot was snoring behind her with his arms around her waist and Aurora was standing beside the bed, tapping her arm and whispering, "Mama, Mama, Mama."

"Hey, baby, what's wrong?" she asked concerned, caressing her daughter's little cheek.

"Scared, mama."

"Oh sweetie," Olivia cooed, gently extracing herself from her husband's arms and sitting up. "It's okay," she assured her as she picked her up. "Come on, let's go in to the nursery, huh? Mama will rock you in the rocking chair."

Olivia carried Aurora in to the nursery and turned on the light since Liam was asleep in the bassinet in the master bedroom. She sat down in the rocking chair and began to rock gently back and forth with Aurora's chubby little legs by her hips and her head resting on her shoulder.

Stroking back the toddler's hair, Olivia softly sang a lullaby.

"Mama, home," Aurora interrupted about half way through.

Olivia kissed Aurora's head as she continued to stoke back her soft hair. "This is home now, princess."

"Home," Aurora cried, shaking her head.

"Oh, baby. I'm so sorry but this is now our home, well for now it is," Olivia murmured, now rubbing Aurora's back. "It's going to be okay," she tried to assure her.

Aurora started to wail unhappily. She wanted her crib and toys at home. The home that she was familiar with and felt safe in.

Continuing to rock back and forth, Olivia adjusted Aurora, so she was laying in her arms. "Sleep, little one. You're safe here. Dada and I won't let anything happen to you or Liam... Sleep now, sweetpea. Mama's got you," she whispered assuringly and kissed her forehead.

Aurora sighed and snuggled in to her mama. Her eyes slowly drooped shut. "Love you, mama," she murmured as she drifted off.

"Love you too, baby," Olivia whispered back and kissed her forehead again, looking up just in time to see Elliot standing in the doorway, half asleep. "Hey, you okay? Liam okay?"

Elliot nodded. "Hey babe. Yeah, I'm fine, so is Liam. He's sleeping peacefully. Come back to bed, Liv. It's early."

"I will soon, hon. I just want to wait and make sure Aurora is completely asleep. She's having a rough night."

Elliot nodded and approached the rocking chair. "She'll be alright. We all will be," he assured his wife before giving her a kiss on the lips and planting a kiss on Aurora's forehead. "Sweet dreams, baby girl... I'll meet you back in bed, babe. Don't be long, you need more sleep."

Olivia nodded and pecked him on the cheek. "I'll be there soon. Love you."

"Love you too," he replied and headed back to bed.


End file.
